Tuesday, 6 May 2014

The Eugeline, and Other Tales

The Boy:
Mummy, why is a eugeline so important?
A what?
A  eugeline.  (I am guessing at the exact spelling here)
What’s a eugeline, sweetheart?
A EUGELINE.  You know!  A eu-gel-ine.
I don’t know.
YES YOU DO.  It’s what girls have.  It’s very private and delicate.
Do you mean “vagina”?
Oh.  Yes.
(People, we have a new word in the house.)

The Girl
(Curiously, and with added lisp): Mummy, why do you have mosquito bites?
I don’t know honey,  I guess mosquitoes love me.
Why do they love you?
I don’t really know.  Maybe because my blood tastes so nice?
(Earnestly) Or maybe because they like old wrinkly skin?  

The Baby
Wah! WAH!
Can’t you just speak?
Any other words?
(Waving a biscuit in front of her face): You sure?
NO! (Pause.) Mo-ah?
No.  (HA!)  


  1. Oh my goodness. Laughed so hard my eugeline hurts.

  2. this made me giggle a lot - thank you!

  3. Very very very big grin on the other side of the world.
    'Mama, what rhymes with 'pagina' (page in Dutch)' and then giggling hysterically because he knows what is coming and the v-word is just TOO funny.

    6 year old boys.. sigh..

  4. The German kids' word for vagina is Mumu (pronounced moo-moo). Yip, Old McDonald had a farm is HILARIOUS according to L.

  5. Oh my God this is SO FUNNY. SO SO FUNNY. I've had the fucking week from actual fucking hell and I am in bed reading all your blog posts laughing like a drain listening to Sam cough on and on and on over the monitor. The thing with the biscuit and "This! THIIIIIIIIIIIIIS" that is SAM. So funny. Thank you. God I honestly haven't laughed in days. Brilliant.